Letting go…

I am told by many “I now see and understand what you are saying”. Which results in the same question – “what can I now do to help”? This I am told and asked in nearly every other email I receive. The truth is I cannot help you and nor should you ask me for such help. I can only relate to my own experiences and you all must do the same. What I soon realised is that there is no need for leaders, messiahs or gurus – for recruitment, affiliation or organisation – in fact there is no need for any of the structures I relied upon to maintain I always look for others to tell me what I already know. I suppose this is the ultimate coercion, because for most of the time I cannot remember that I do know, but the truth is – for me anyway – I can remember if I forget first. I see now that this could all end with simple amnesty being offered to all, but alas there must always be a price to pay and someone to answer too – and because I have always been told this, I believed it – so I could never use the simplest of solutions and only continue pursuing the most complicated false answers.

This transition is a lonely one and my mind feels frightened, vulnerable and confused and in turn because I know my mind also controls certain feelings and bodily aches and pains, I feel pretty lousy too – but I do know it will pass as it always does with warmth from inside that I cannot describe, maybe not for long, but long enough. The world I have grown to rely upon and have done for all my life is now being stripped away from me and even though I know in my heart that this is a play we find ourselves amerced in and it is simply that (a play ground for the mind, the actor the persona – for filling and catering for all its wildest dreams, desires and lusts) my mind continues to tell me I am losing something I need, when the truth is, I have never needed it and it is now time for that to pass too.

I see now that it is not me that is frightened it is my mind, as it struggles to maintain control, which obviously affects me. Forever trying to gain even more useless information and trying to coerce me into to believing I must do this – constantly telling me ‘you must do this, or you will lose control’ and the result is – installed fear starts to rise with anxiety affecting me and subsequently affecting everyone around me. As I struggle with this I become selfish, solemn, bad tempered, irritable and down heartened resulting in not only me having a bad time but also my family which is not acceptable on any level. I am then bombarded with the minds greatest tool ‘there is always something better’. It tells me to run to find a sanctuary, it tells me somewhere out there exists a place I can find peace, but in my heart I know that the peace I seek is already in me and it is my mind that seeks betterment and the sanctuary – for it knows I am now remembering – that all I have ever needed is the love, compassion and caring that my family offer, benevolently and unconditionally and I simply need nothing more. It fools me into believing it offers me sanctuary, when in fact that sanctuary is nothing of the sort, just another play ground for IT to live out its desires and lusts.

I have always thought there is constantly something to fight for and of course those who are guilty must be punished and judged and this has been relied upon to maintain I always play the game and in so will never start the process of remembering. After studying history two facts throughout history remain constant; through fighting things have always remained the same and always will and that woman have always been oppressed. As I see it now – through fighting male domination has been maintained as long as the females are oppressed for they are our ‘mothers’ and through their wisdom we would see that there is nothing gained by a fight, but everything to lose. The world revolves around competition at every level, a fight for control and only exists because of this maintaining all the elements to allow it to exist. The lock is lust and the key is love, what a mothers heart offers is true unconditional benevolent love, this is why I feel they had to be oppressed – for without that oppression male domination could not exist.

I am now in the process of downloading everything into a book so when it is done I can forget it once and for all – for no matter what my mind tells me to the contrary, I do not want this information and knowledge anymore. And if you do read the book, then maybe you will come to the same realisation as well and if you do, then my work here for now is done – until??

For me now realising was enough and what did I realise? That I have nothing to learn, but everything to remember – I simply have to forget to remember! The change in me is already at hand and in so, is out of my hands for that is the only way it can be as I had gone too far and it is very obvious now that all I really need protecting from is me. I have lived all I can live and through generations experienced all I can experience, so now control must be relinquished and taken from my hands for my own good and is being so, what I am starting to accept is, that this is happening and I am happy this is happening – even though for most of the time my mind beats me with the biggest stick it can find to make me believe otherwise.

As I see it now I am not here to cause change; I Am simply here to help others accept change. I have no control over the events that are about to unfold and I am accepting this as hard as it may be. What is needed of me – I will realise in my own time – and I will do what I need to do without thought, planning or effort, it will just happen naturally through simple knowing and remembering that this has to be done – not just for my own sake, but for everyone’s sake.

I must now do what instinctively feels right for me to do and in doing so have remembered the most powerful memory which I know is already held by many of you – If you truly want a happy planet then make the females of this planet happy, as the male domination of this planet must end.

This is only my opinion so please accept it as just being that.

All my love

john x

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