During my time away nothing much had changed in the village with all the usual faces and people ambling about daily going about their business. On arriving back I was greeted by a few friends and was asked about my time away. I discussed this but not in great detail. More to the point I could tell that within the village I was being viewed with even more contempt by the villagers to the point I could see them thinking every time they saw me ‘what a nutter’. But in all fairness life was not to bad and for some reason I felt good, happy and full of life. My relationship with my mum and Dave was better, but unfortunately this was only to last for a while. I was still supporting a Mohican hairstyle, so I suppose that did not help even though it should not have mattered. One Friday evening soon after arriving back in the village my good friend ‘fuzz’ (Ian Summerbee – called this because of his hair) invited me to the local village disco, the next Saturday, which he had already purchased a ticket for on my behalf. This event went on yearly hosted by the local football club and was the event of the year for all those who lived on the council estate. The only criteria I would have to meet, to be able to go to the disco was to have my Mohican cut off, leaving me looking a lot like a Rhodesian ridgeback. I agreed to this and off come the hair and I donned my best punk outfit and joined my mate and a few others for what was to be an eventful evening.
We went to the disco and we had a great time drinking, dancing and generally acting the fools to the enjoyment of the girls that had gone. Even though we had been drinking quite heavily neither fuzz nor myself were drunk and at the end of the evening after bidding our goodbyes, we strolled up Horn Hill towards our houses. Fuzz lived in Hill Crest a drive off of Horn Hill and I lived at the time on Horn Hill itself and after the long walk up the hill we stood talking in Hill Crest just down from fuzz’s house. At that time in Whitwell the streetlights would go out around 12 ish and come back on around dawn in the winter and at dusk in the summer. This was the normal occurrence and we were all used to this happening. As far as I know Whitwell is fed electricity from two different sources, one emanating from Stevenage that supplied one side of the village and the other from Luton that supplied the other. When Whitwell suffered any kind of power cut it normally only affected one or the other sides of the village, the separation point was just down from the end of Fuzz’s drive….I suppose you are wondering why I am telling you this, please be patient all will be revealed very soon….and when the power went off it was either the bottom section of the hill or the top section. This night anyway was a little different. As we stood talking and generally larking about I suggested something to Fuzz and to this day I don’t know why I did. While we were chatting I said something very strange to Fuzz and I will tell you what I said. For no apparent reason I said that I was going to count to three and click my fingers and when I did every light in Whitwell would go out. Fuzz not being one to turn down a challenge no matter how ludicrous it would seem at the time and we have done some daft things the two of us together said ‘go on then’ and so I did, as I had said I would, so I counted to three and then clicked my fingers. What happened next not only amazed and stunned fuzz but it also did me. Every light in Whitwell went out. We run to the end of the drive and looked up and down the hill, every lamppost, every house light was off and the whole village was plunged into darkness. Fuzz’s reaction was even funnier as he started to say quite nervously ‘what have you done, look what you have done’ and then he started to laugh, as that is exactly what I was doing. We stood there amazed and mystified to how this had occurred and were in a total state of shock. Now this might seem to you a bit ludicrous and you are probably wondering why I am writing about this incident, please allow me to explain for to me now this was very important and more to the point demonstrated to me the power of being happy and the power of ‘will’.
On leaving Hill End I had experienced a happiness I had never known at any point in my life, a happiness that was pure. At that time nothing seemed to bother me in any way. Now normally I would have been very put off by the way the other villagers viewed me at that time and especially wondering what they would be saying about me behind my back. This was not something new, this is what my mind had done to me all of my life, at least the parts I can remember. I was in a sort of bliss I suppose is the only way to describe it, to be honest I cannot find the words to describe this feeling. But nonetheless this is exactly how I was feeling at this time. When I said the words and clicked my fingers I truly felt that what I was saying would happen, no doubt, no maybe’s I felt they would in fact go out and I did it with a smile on my face. I know now that not only good things can happen this way. I know that also not so good things can happen, even though all things are meant to happen otherwise they would not. I will talk a little more about this soon. I now see it that the lights went out because I willed them too. Now at this point you may say that I have truly lost the plot and in some ways I would not blame you for having that opinion, and truth be known if I was you reading this I would probably say the same – if I had not experienced this event with my own eyes as fuzz did. But I know as Fuzz knows that this happened. I know some of you will just put this down to coincidence, but I truly do not believe in coincidence, as I know everything is meant to happen and happens for a reason even if you do not realize the reason for the occurrence at the time.
I have always known in my heart that the power we use and the way we use it and the way it is delivered to us is wrong – long before I knew anything about renewable energy. And have often wished that the power would just go off and plunge the planet into a situation where we would have just work things out without the mechanisms of commerce doing it for us and charging us for the privilege. No power no commercial mechanisms. I was told a while ago by a very special friend that the reason this happened was to show me what one being can do if they ‘will’ something to happen, but it only works if you are in a state of complete removal from worry, stress, anger, anguish and any other negative emotion that can block the ‘good will’ process. I know at that time I would not have been affected by none of these as all I was feeling was complete and utter happiness and maybe just maybe I was being shown that one day I could fulfill a ‘will’ (an intent) if you like that I feel would go a long way to help in sorting this place we live in out. I also feel there is a negative aspect that can override the good ‘will’ as well, which only works when no happiness is present and that is the reason why humanity is in the predicament it finds itself in. I suppose in a lot of ways this incident and now looking back upon it, shows me that we really do create the illusion we choose to live in, whether that be negative or positive by the lack of the emotion needed to block or allow the intent of the will. What if one man or woman could will that everything must change and change it would whether that is a positive change or a negative. Imagine having that responsibility on your shoulders, imagine if that was re-enforced by the will of others doing exactly the same at exactly the same time. But surely that is what is happening and the intent (will) is negative and that is why negative and all it stands for prevails. Do we not limit ourselves because we are always told we can’t?
To be perfectly honest with you I have been struggling to write at the moment and it has been this way for some weeks and have felt lost, unsure, anxious not knowing why. I tried at the start of the day to write about Magna Carta with this Mac connected to the Internet and found I could not write as I have found on many occasions. I wrote recently an article entitled ‘I feel as though I Am in prison’ and this was an expression of how lost I have felt lately and also I suppose explains the anger and frustration that has been coming out in the language I have been using, swearing a lot, well in fact a greet deal something I felt I had left behind me. I decided after trying to write to unplug the Mac from the monitor we use as a TV and put it on the Kitchen table instead connected to a monitor from the shed with no Internet connection. What is strange is that I started to attempt to write about Magna Carta again, and again I could not, only writing a small section, then deciding to write about my life and the incident I have just wrote about. I feel what I have just explained has led me to realize that there is something very bad about the Internet, which I have stated many times not really explaining why, because predominately what is on there is negative, and maybe in some way it affects us without even knowing how it affects us. Maybe the will (intent) of the developers of such a device knew this fact, or maybe they did not and I know many of you will try to explain this is about energy, but again this is only a guess because no one truly knows. Maybe the answer we all seek is as simple as our intent, our will and this has a very direct effect on ever thing around us. I know in my heart that the Internet is being used to externalize everything to a point we only perceive any solution would have to be an external one. Deliberate? Without doubt! For without this politics, democracy and the church would die off in a second. Coupled with our ability, namely our will and the intent of that will, all external elements maintain their existence because we give them our will to exist, for without it they could not. Maybe this is what the Internet is doing; sapping our will and maybe that is why I had to disconnect today to be able to write this. Take this for what you will and most I suppose ‘will’ deny what I have said maintaining the elements I have said should just die should remain, forcing everything into the external and the weird and wonderful world enhanced and maintained by the Internet and countless books regarding this subject and how there can only be an external solution.
All I can say is that if I hold this ability and it is as simple as the ‘will’ and the intent of that will that all of us posses, then I am going to try and make sure my intent is only for the good of us all and that the intent of that ‘will is pure’. Maybe some of you would like to join in this, maybe some of you all ready do it. I just feel that whatever is being done the ‘will’ is not pure enough, for if it was nothing that is of bad intention would still exist and because it does then something is not quite right yet. Maybe it is just not the right time to do it yet and we will all know when to do it? I don’t know to be honest, so maybe it is up to me to try. All I know is that my heart maintains that there is no external solution to this problem as we are the problem and in being so we are also the solution and that simple solution exists in us all without exception.
Much love to you all without exception