Sitting on the fence…

Although I can only ever speak for myself from my own perspective or experience, I do see a world of chaos at this moment in time that is getting more chaotic by the day. Most of which is beyond the immediate comprehension of most and then those who do profess to understand what is going on, are also seemingly trapped by belief systems or trapped in the world of fear mongering – and seemingly gain some sort of twisted pleasure from doing so and thrive on this discordance… or make money from it!!

In all honesty I can see the madness only ever getting madder as, I sit on the fence of life and spectate. For the most of the time shaking my head in wonderment of how rude, selfish, inconsiderate and down right obnoxious humans are to one and another, but then a wonderment at the complete antithesis of this, with a beautiful occurrence that seem alas, so few and far between. An occurrence when, for no apparent reason, a gesture of kindness is made and gifted from apparently thin air, without reason nor intentions other than they just simply can. This warms me and strikes a chord of contentment in me playing a tune that it would seem has long been forgotten, but brims just underneath the surface waiting for nothing more than a tiny spark of good will to ignite it. And I am sure many of you will agree and appreciate what I am saying as you see the same, but just might not notice because you are noticing other things? Am I sure of this? No, how could I be? As I can only ever speak for myself and most certainly have to keep reminding myself of this most self-evident fact, after spending a life time of always thinking I am right – and more to the point using what I highlighted above to shoot others down. Shoot them down because they dare to suggest I was wrong. What a nob I was, and still can be in moments I forget myself!!

And for me that one sparse realisation lately very simply left me sitting on the fence of life seeing all I was, present in all that I see now, who it would seem are blissfully un-aware of this simple, but most prominent fact regarding human nature. For if it can exist in me, then surely that means it can exist in every human being without exception? So in reality some things are so apparent that we can determine that they are characteristics carried by all, but does that give us the right to voice as such in attempt to be right about something when debate arises? A simple question you might want to ask yourself? What I have found more than any other one thing lately is, that our understanding of others is lost in a lack of understanding about ourselves and only when I climbed upon that fence did I see this. Although it seems I knew it all along, as we must all do, it took the notion of the need of humility within me to somehow activate this process to allow myself to see myself in the actions of others…

I can in all honesty say now that without this I would have been in serious trouble by now, as I do have some mad ideas when it comes to solving problems I can see. And if I allow the rage within me to take hold pure misery ensues, not just for me, but also for all those I share this life with and that without any stretch of imagination is not acceptable. Have I all the answers? Certainly not, I only have a wild fantastical idea, a fairytale from my imagination that I destroyed myself with – the very start of this process, I just wasn’t aware it was! Am I a leader or someone to follow? Absolutely not, I am but a simple tradesman and nothing more! Am I worried for the future and the futures of our children? Absolutely not for in my madness there is a feeling that everything is going to be just fine. Do I feel the chaos must happen? In my madness yes I do, as it seems the chaos is the result of the last reminisce of human self–importance being removed, to make way for something slightly different at first that ultimately results in a vast difference in the end.

Am I mad? Quite possibly, but no madder than those who profess there are such things/thing as gods/god and no madder than those who actually believe that this time the politicians will actually do as they promise to do and not actually do anything that they promised to do. I am no madder than those who are lost in the arrogance of freemanism, or spiritualism and those who shun responsibility in the name of being a sovereign, but how can I say this when I can only speak for myself? One simple word sums it up – experience and the ability to sit on the fence of life and realise where and when I went so badly and horribly wrong and more importantly finding it within myself to admit these and countless other faults! No madder than those who think that doing the same thing over and over again repeatedly the same way, will somehow result in a different outcome! No madder than those who profess to know everything taken from others guess work! Unfortunately the list is endless it seems as is, human endurance to suffer its own madness.

So really I suppose in me, sitting on the fence of life suggests that having answers brings arrogance and just suggesting a mere possibility brings with it humility and I now know what I prefer… the humbleness to not know and admit it and to simply allow everything to be just a possibility and allow the process of understanding others through understanding ourselves to do its job in those who profess otherwise, by inviting them to sit beside me on the fence… and the strange thing is when you do climb up you suddenly see faces you recognise, who have been there a while and have been patiently waiting for you… or, As I have suggested I could just be completely barking… :lol: x

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